Maybe it’s not such a big deal, but I can’t help feeling angry since this morning.
Not to mention she should NEVER have showed up..
Appearing suddenly, and taunting me with her presence.
In a conquering attitude like “veni vidi vici”, she thinks she has won the battle.
And she expresses it by being in my living room.
My pink living room…
It’s time for me to get rid of her.
Half an hour later, I’m panting from running after her, which annoys me even more.
Given the intensity of the fight against the alien-like intruder, for a moment I really feel like Sigouney Weaver in movie “Alien.”
Unable to contact the SETI Institute so that they can exterminate her, I find another solution in a dangerous weapon that is in the kitchen.
And I grab it with eagerness:
the broom.
That’ll do.
Carefully, I approach her holding my breath. Then strike with force.
She falls noiselessly.
And I smile victoriously, feeling as heroic as Nanisca in “The Woman King.”
Perfect.
The problem now is what to do with the body.
Burying her in the garden seems like a great idea, but a much better one come to my mind.
I pick it up with difficulty and disgust, get out of the house, and throw her over the fence in the neighbors’ garden.
This way if she decides to resurrect, it is not my home that she will haunt.
But on the way home, BUMMER.
I realize that I forgot my keys, and don’t have my mobile phone with me.
And panic takes over me, with this feeling that my heart is going to come out of my chest, aaargh!
And what a silly idea to create doors that lock themselves automatically.
Feeling myself blushing, I go back, and knock on the neighbors’ doors, hoping that they won’t notice her, or that they won’t guess how she appeared in their garden.
My neighbor opens the door, and I tell him about my dilemma.
Kindly he agrees to help.
While he gets inside the house, his wife, who is holding a little creature in her arms, invites me to come into their living room.
She puts her little being in a type of small plastic garden, and the little creature lifs up his big black eyes at me.
He seems to want to communicate in a language or dialect which I do not know.
“BlaaAAAAbleee. Bledeblep” he says while drooling and jumping awkwardly on the spot.
Bummer, but WHAT is THE HECK is going today that I only bump into ETs?
In any case, while leaning forward to stroke his head, I deduce that it is probably a kind of coded language which particularly his mother has the power to decipher.
And also that he is already “home”.
Suddenly the little being from space grabs something next to him; and cheerfully begins to press on it with both hands.
At the sight of the object, I feel as if my heart stops.
And the panic hits me again.
His mum, who followed my gaze, smiles gently, nodding towards Mini-E.T : “It was his uncle who gave him that toy for Halloween. He plays with it a lot.”
As the neighbor reappeared with a toolbox, my brain, which has difficulties to concentrate due to the annoying brain fog, registeres something else.
Not only am I stunned that offering a toy looking like her could cross anyone’s mind.
But above all, unless I am mistaken (I really need to read a little more or do crosswords to “strengthen my gray cells), the one that I eliminated earlier, which should be dead in the garden, has obviously reincarnated in the toy.
DAMN SPIDER.
IN JESUS’NAME, FAYAAA!! AAAARGH!!!
